Sound bites from the online self-help group
Here you will find comments from participants in the online self-help groups on topics we encounter in everyday life.
"You must be sacrificing a lot?!"
- "As a mother, you don't sacrifice yourself. What we do, we do voluntarily, because it's close to our hearts, because we love our family. Superficially, the give and take doesn't seem balanced. We don't always get back what we've given. But in the long run, doing good always pays off."
- "The word 'sacrifice' makes us victims. And we are not victims. We are always in control of our own lives, at all times. When we help our men, forgo things, and sometimes go beyond our limits, we do this out of love, voluntarily. 'Sacrifice' implies 'must,' 'suffer,' 'struggle.' So let's not call it 'sacrifice,' but 'win.' Because through our help, things sometimes go better, or at least somewhat better."
- "As a soldier, I don't see it that way at all. Nor as a medic. My husband is also my comrade. So I'm looking at it from several perspectives. As a medic, I'm obligated to provide assistance (and I chose this profession because I enjoy it). As a comrade, I offer support as a fellow soldier. As his wife, I've said we'll go through thick and thin together. He would be there for me just the same. So there's no question that we'll rock this together. Even though it's still really tough sometimes, of course. I focus on what we've already overcome and that there are also good times. And it's wonderful to read here that none of you see it as a victim either. I find that very touching. Your husbands all have amazing women by their sides."
What does ATEK mean to you?!
- Through ATEK, after 16 years of partnership with a man suffering from severe chronic PTSD, I am finally experiencing continuous support and help from fellow sufferers. Here I find warmth, compassion, and above all, understanding and competent support for my needs and challenges. Previously, I had only been invited to occasional events, which were good, but lacked the continuity of this group. I also didn't have access to a 24-hour emergency support group. Thanks to you, I no longer feel so alone. Thank you so much.
- The ATEK eV association and its associated self-help group have become very important to me. Even though I initially had reservations about opening up and asking for help, I'm now simply glad to be a part of it and wouldn't want to miss the valuable exchange within the group. You not only benefit from the members' broad knowledge and diverse experiences, but you've also formed friendships. Ultimately, it's true: no one is alone. Together we are strong.
"He chose that himself!"
I have been confronted with this question many times before.
The same thing happened when my father's girlfriend replied to me. I completely lost my temper and responded as follows:
"And is that now the justification for him having to bear his fate alone? Is that the answer to the fact that he fought for you so that you could sleep and live in peace, enjoy your everyday life without a care in the world? And will you also tell your son, because he's a firefighter, that he'll see where he ends up if it happens to him?"
Our emergency responders perform their duties with complete conviction towards their country and its people. They deserve respect and recognition, and I share this burden because I would be by their side if they suffered a stroke or heart attack.
I believe it is sheer helplessness and ignorance that leads someone to think or say such things. Perhaps also ignorance, but I hope it is helplessness.
How ATEKeV also works!
All day today, greylag geese have been flying over our garden, honking loudly, in a V-formation. I remember what science has discovered as the reason for this way of flying.
With each wingbeat, one bird creates an updraft for the bird immediately behind it. By flying in a V-formation, the flock can travel much farther than a single bird could. If a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the full force of the air resistance and quickly returns to the formation to take advantage of the lift provided by the bird in front. When the leading goose tires, it rotates back into the sideline, and another goose takes the lead.
The geese at the back honk to encourage those at the front to maintain their speed. Finally, and this is important: if a goose becomes sick or injured and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with it and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with the fallen goose until it can fly again. Then they take off again, either on their own or in a different formation, to rejoin their group.
The behavior of greylag geese is surely very familiar to all of you. For me, it made me think of ATEK eV today, of Sandra and all the other wonderful women.
Women like us, in particular, rely on support to cope with everyday life, our professional lives, and our commitment to our husbands. Every member of the team generates this support through her motivation, openness, respect, and friendly approach.
Each woman is prepared, to the extent that her own strength allows, to step forward, directly into the wind, and thereby give the women around us the boost that helps them accomplish their tasks. And it is perfectly clear to everyone on the team that one can, may, and must also fall back, and then gratefully accept the updraft flowing to them from the person in front.
Praise, encouragement, and comfort from behind: that certainly does not only the geese a world of good. But definitely every one of us.
A comforting and calming power, just as it does for the geese, releases the certainty that difficult times are also a part of life and are simply allowed to be. And that in such times, like the geese, we will feel the supportive solidarity of those around us.
The formation of geese made me think of our valuable group, which makes my journey much more pleasant than if I were flying alone. Because our togetherness is a noticeable and valuable boost for all of us.
Perhaps you've also noticed how our group, through our friendly approach, motivation, humor, respect, and trust, has always quietly provided a boost and had a positive impact on all of us. And perhaps you're already finding it a little easier to accept support and encouragement from others.
Since getting to know some of you, I've felt the necessary uplift, like greylag geese flying in formation. Especially in difficult times, this uplift is doubly important. I'm happy to be able to continue flying in formation with each and every one of you. There's no better combination to tackle the tasks that lie ahead.
THANK YOU for existing!
